The Story of Avery Blackshaw
by crazybutterflyx
Summary: Avery Blackshaw and her brother live a simple life in District 5. But when both their names are drawn for the 71st annual Hunger Games, how can the odds be ever in their favour?
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi there! **_

_**This is my first Fanfic of anything so thank you to anyone who is reading it! I'm a little nervous of it! I found while I was re-reading the Hunger Games books that I was creating this character in my head and writing her story, so I decided to do this properly! **_

_**Please review or give any advice, seeing as I'm new I could probably use a lot!** _

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I wake up to the familiar humming sound from the plant. Delightful. I look for some sign of the time, hoping my brother would be back soon.

I look at the makeshift calendar. Tomorrow. The reapings tomorrow. My least favourite day for the past six years. The day I could lose Isaac, my big brother and the only family I have. And I suppose, for the past two years, the day he could lose me too. Both our names are three times as likely to come out because both of us are in the tesserae. Not that he knows that of course. He'd never let me do it if he did. Instead I have to pretend his extra goodies get further than they do. I guess I'm rather devious.

We're all the other has, that's why he's so protective. I'd like to say from tomorrow I'll be able to sleep easy, but I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen this time. Especially when so few from 5 have their names in more than once. We're just poor enough to have to. And anyway, he might be too old for it after tomorrow, but seeing as I'm only 14 I've got another 4 years left and I don't want to leave him behind. No, I can't leave him behind. He needs me. He'd like to think it's the other way around – and I do need him – but he needs me just as much. He thrives through looking after me, it's all he knows.

After mother died, father drank. A lot. I was so little, but I still remember Isaac shielding me from all the fists and bottles and profanities that were being thrown. I remember his bruises and cut eyebrows from where Dad's wiry wedding ring caught him.

And I remember the day when I was 6 and Isaac was 10. I was sick and Dad was home with me. He got fed up, and Isaac wasn't there to take my beating. I remember when he walked in from school calling me, and when I didn't come he followed the sound of my muffled whimpers. I remember the anger in his eyes when he saw me. I've never seen such anger. I remember him lunging at our father, screaming the words that were the only thing he'd taught us.

I remember watching our father walk away across the electric plant, and knowing I'd never seem him again. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not. Of course it wasn't. How could it be? He beat my brother daily, and moved on to me. But when he was there, we had money. My brother would've had education. I got to go to school, but from the day my father left he got a job on the plantation, making just enough to keep us fed and clothed. We managed to keep the house, though it isn't really anything but an empty shell now. Just a place to keep us out of the bad weather.

If my father was here we wouldn't have to enter the tesserae. His money would've made sure of that. But when he went, so did his savings. And really it might not have lasted long with his alcoholism.

Isaac should be back soon, and yet I'm still in bed. I get up and wander to the kitchen, he'll be hungry when he gets back. Except he's already back.

"Hey there lazybones, you get this day to spend with me, not your bed remember!" He smiles at me and drinks from his cup. "Have a good sleep?"

"Yeah, fine. Why aren't you at work?" I give him the sternest look I can muster, causing him to snort into his cup.

"Done for the day. Thought I'd spend a little time with my little sis but she was still out of it."

"Did you get into another fight?" I'm not fooled easily

"What? I. Yeah. "

"Why?"

"This idiot, I think he used to be in your class? His name's Caleb. Well anyway, he was talking about you to me in a manner I did not appreciate."

"Caleb? Jeez Isaac his parents just died! He's just started there, did you hurt him?"

"Nah, I just gave him a warning. Sent us both home though." He mumbles sheepish " Did his parent's really just die?"

"Yes. He probably spoke to you thinking you'd understand how tough it is. His little sister's four you know. He's got it tough, just like you did." I stop, noticing the ashamed look Isaac's wearing, allowing him to charm me just like he does everyone else. "It's okay. I'll speak to him sometime today."

"Okay, Sorry."

"It's okay." I watch as Isaac crosses the kitchen to the sink. Caleb must've been terrified. You'd be hard pushed to find a person in the whole district who wouldn't if they came up against my brother. His tall, muscular frame would be enough to stop most men in their tracks. He's the perfect 5 worker – 6'4", 160lb – who could carry his weight in barrels for the plant. I'm nothing like him. At 5'7" and 115lb, I have this underfed look about me. I guess that's why I'm still going to school, the plant doesn't want me. I'd be lucky to lift half an empty barrel never mind a full one. And then I think of Caleb. He's not exactly plant material. He's maybe just 6', and then is pretty thin himself. But I guess he'll buff up. It's not like Isaac started out as the strong man, he was 10.

"How'd you know?" Isaac's question interrupts my thoughts. "That I was lying?"

"I just do. I can always tell with you."

"You're so smart. And I don't think that's because you went to school either."

"Thanks. But smart doesn't get far in five. Smart's for three."

"Well maybe you could get upgraded? Go to three. Make the electronics rather than the electricity?"

"Never gonna happen Isaac. No point in dreaming." I know where this conversation leads, and I don't want to go there. "I think I'll go see Caleb just now, get it out of the way."

"Okay, maybe I should come too. Apologize?"

"No. He would be petrified if you just showed up outside his home! I'll go alone."

Isaac nods and gives me another ashamed look as I leave the room and head off in the direction of Caleb's house.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you to anyone who's been reading. And I got selected for someone's favourites, wow! Thank you so much! **_

_**It would be really great to get some reviews, just to see how I'm doing. :)**_

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Chapter 2

I know the way to Caleb's well. Not that I'd ever tell Isaac, but the two of us have never really but just friends. We'd been friends for so long that, last year, we moved into a relationship. It's not exactly conventional, and neither of us really know what to do with ourselves in it, but it's a shared bond. And it's nice to know that someone cares about me other than just Isaac.

His house isn't that far away, and soon I'm standing outside, like I have so many times before. Except I haven't been since his parent's died. I'm not sure I expected the change. It's dismal. His house was one I longed for, one that contained a happy family. Now, now it's empty. The happiness has died with his parents. I see him pass a window and walk towards the door, not wanting to spend any more time wondering if this is what happened to my home when my mother died. I knock but don't wait for an answer.

"Caleb?" He appears from the kitchen as I shut the front door behind me, and I see him for the first time since the accident that took his parents. He looks gaunt, "Caleb, I just wanted to apologize for Isaac today. He didn't realize, he didn't know about –"

"So you did?" The pain in his eyes transforms to anger. "you knew about my parent's death then? I was trying to convince myself you hadn't heard."

"What, I – Of course I did! Everyone has. Your parents were really liked, everyone was talking about it!"

"I know everyone knew, because everyone came here to tell me how sorry they were! Everyone except you!" He yelled. I've never seen Caleb angry before. "Why didn't you come? Every time I heard the door go I expected you! Because I knew you'd understand. Because you're supposed to care about me! I really thought you did! But apparently I'm not worth your time."

"Caleb, I'm sorry. If I'd known, I'd have been here right away, I just thought you'd want time to sort it out for yourself." I plead. He looks at me, his eyes full of hurt.

"Yeah. Well I didn't know how to. I had to deal with it all. And I thought you'd get that, I mean your brother had to do it! So when you failed me I figured I'd talk to your brother about it and wham! I'm sent home from work for fighting!" He sighed. "I can afford that Avery, I really can't. Good people got me that job because they felt sorry for me. I need to keep it."

"I know." I have nothing else to say. I want to run to him, pull him tightly and tell him it'll all be okay. But I can't. I know he wouldn't let me.

"If you would pass the message on to your brother I'd appreciate it. I think you should go now."

I look at him, shocked. This isn't the Caleb I know and love. He's not my childhood friend, the boy I didn't dare tell my big brother about because I knew I wouldn't get to see him. The only person I can truly remember caring about apart from Isaac. I've hurt him. I nod and leave, knowing nothing I can say will make this better right now.

Walking back to the house, I wonder if I should've stayed. But what could I really say? He's right. I was supposed to be there for him, and I wasn't. He has every right to hate me. I don't know if I want to scream or cry. But I know I have to compose myself before I get home. I can't go back to Isaac in a state, he'll go after Caleb. And that'll cause a fight. And we can't fight, not the evening before the reaping. Tonight has to be perfect, all smiles and laughter. Just in case.

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_**Okay, so I know this isn't all that long but I don't really want to move on to the next part in the same chapter. But hopefully I'll be able to get chapter 3 posted tonight. That'll also get the story moving too, I know so far it's not really all that dramatic, a bit angsty maybe. But it's all very relevant I promise!**___

_**Thanks for reading! **_

_**Please Review! :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Okay, as promised here's chapter 3! And I got my first review! Thank you so much! :D_**

**_Hope you guys like it!_**

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Chapter 3

After an evening of sibling bonding, false laughs and awkward silences, I wake up with the sun creeping over the structure of the plant. I wonder if this will be my last 5 sunrise? Will I be going today? I can tell something's wrong. One of us is going to get chosen. Tomorrow, there'll just be one of us here.

I have a good instinct, I can tell when things are going to go wrong. A few weeks back I had a bad feeling about Isaac going to work so I made him stay home. That was the day an entire sector of the plant went up. I remember the crash and the alarms sounding telling us that it was bad. That was the day Caleb lost his parents, his life, his future. That was the day Caleb became the same as my brother.

I get up, not wanting to spend any more time thinking about what I can't change. But it's hard not to considering both our names are in extra times. That means the odds most certainly are not in our favour.

District 5's a strange person. Most people get by well enough, but then most have family to help them. I guess it must be great if your family has money, but if you're poor, it's tough. Most people don't get it, the whole poor thing. But then most people don't experience it. Isaac is a rare thing, barely any kids go into the plantation at the age he did. That's why he got the job right away. They're always looking for small ones for small jobs. I keep telling him I should talk to the supervisors about trying for one but he wont let me. I'm not exactly short, but I am thin and I'm good at sneaking into small spaces. But the work's too dangerous for him to even consider it. I keep almost telling him about being in the tesserae and how if I was working neither of us would have to enter it, but he'd go crazy if he knew.

Walking into the kitchen I'm surprised to find him already up. He never gets up earlier than me, unless he's working early. But there he is, sitting in the exact spot he sat in the day before, with the same cup in his hands.

"Hey Ave, sleep good?" He asks me, smiling as if today wasn't the day that everything could change.

"Uh, yeah." I study his face, he doesn't look like he's slept at all. I guess he's worried too. "What about you? You're up early."

"Yeah I suppose I am. Today would usually be an early start so I seem to have just trained myself to be up at this hour." He's not as good of a liar as I am. He never knows when I'm lying.

"Oh yeah of course. You ready for this rubbish today? Once a year we've got to pick out our best clothes and pretend we care right?" I give a false laugh and try to ooze confidence, knowing I'm not even fooling Isaac.

"Totally Aves, nothing to even bother about. I don't know why we even go anymore, it'll never be us!" He flashes me his charming smile and I wish I could believe his words.

We eat a breakfast of some stale flatbread I bought a few days back, sit in silence for a while and then head off to our rooms to get ready for the reaping. I decide to wear my hair down, seeing as it is almost always up. It's so straight, so thin, so brown! My tanned skin and pale blue eyes don't help my appearance much, I really look poor, like I've been working out in the sun. But it doesn't really matter does it? I mean what's today? The day I'll either come home with my brother, or I won't. How I look won't change anything. If I'm chosen there's a team of stylists waiting to make me beautiful. If I don't, I stay the same.

I meet Isaac a door and we head down the street, joining the crowd of all the other families headed to the reaping. When we arrive, I look around to see if I can see Caleb anywhere but there's no sign. It's not like he'd want to see me anyway. We walk to the square in front of 5's justice building and then head off into our age groups. We wait. And wait. I look around and see Caleb has arrived, standing in the boys section of 14 year olds. I catch his eye and see him look away. He's still made then.

I turn to the front to watch the mayor walk up to the podium and set out his speech. He's flanked by Peacekeepers. People didn't appreciate his handling of the plantation disaster. I guess they're expecting an attack. Well that would show up the Capitol.

As the clock on the front of the justice building reaches 2pm, the ceremony begins. Our mayor rabbits on about the rise of Panem, not that anyone's listening. I look around me and a mix of emotions. Boredom, terror, sadness can all be seen on the young faces in the square, as well as the faces of those who are attempting to avoid showing any emotion. The Mayor finishes and passes over to the District 5 escort, Enobarbus Jones. His name is as ridiculous as his outfit. The green suit he is oh so famous for clashes with his emerald hair that falls in waves across his face and shoulders.

"Greetings to you all, and welcome to the 71st Annual Hunger Games! I am sure it is unnecessary to explain the rules of the games, there is not a person in this district that does not know them!" I smile, as eccentric as Enobarbus seems to be, he understands that nobody wants to linger here. "Now, to the tributes, and may the odds be ever in your favour! Ladies first!"

I watch as his hand hovers over the bowl, then dives in. The neat little envelopes cover it, catching on his oversized emerald rings until he finds one he feels is right and lifts it out. He smiles and looks out over the crowd then looks back to his hands and opens the seal. "And, district 5, your female tribute is." He pauses for tension. I want to scream at him, yell for him to get it over with. But when he finally speaks, I wish he would take it back. I wish he'd rewind and stick his hand back in the bowl. I wish he'd condemn someone else to their death.

"Avery Blackshaw!"

xxxxxxxxxx

I want to cry, to scream, to run as far away as possible. But I know I can't. There are peacekeepers everywhere and I'd be dead before my eyes could focus on my destination. So I step forward, keeping my face blank, showing no fear, no terror, no acceptance of my imminent death. I have to at least pretend, for Isaac's sake, that it'll be fine. I reach the stage and Enobarbus smiles at me, welcomes me to the stage. I nod and take my place overlooking the crowd and watch as all the girls breathe a sigh of relief over their safety.

I refocus in time to see the reaping of the male tribute. The process repeats, Enobarbus builds the tension up again and then he reads the name. And my world crumbles. It can't be. I'm dreaming, I have to be dreaming. This isn't possible, surely?

I watch as Isaac makes his way to the stage, and we stare at each other, knowing what this means. One of us will definitely die. Whatever happens, we're going to lose our sibling. For the first time I allow emotion to fill my face. For my eyes to water and then tears to spill down my cheeks. I see Isaac quicken his pace through my blurry eyes, until he's right there pulling me into his arms, protecting me like he has since we were children. I expect him to be dragged from me but he stays, his arm around me telling all of Panem silently that nothing will harm me while he's there.

I catch sight of Enobarbus, his face practically glowing with excitement over what has unfolded in front of him. "Why, could it be? Do we really have a sibling team? Well this is a first! District 5, I give you your tributes! May the odds be ever in your favour!"

Isaac stays holding on to me, in the exact same way he did as our father left us, until it's time to leave. Until the anthem plays and we're ushered through the doors of the justice building, down the hall into separate rooms to say goodbye to our family. Except we don't have any family. So I sit, and I imagine Isaac's doing the same. Until a peacekeeper opens a door and lets a boy in.

"Caleb."

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_**I'm having a bit of a writing fest right now so hopefully chapter 4 will be coming your way very soon!**_

_**:)**_


	4. Chapter 4

**_Thanks to everyone who's reading. _**

**_Please review or give me any advice to improve if you have the time! :)_**

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Chapter Four.

"Hey Avery."

"Hey. What, what are you doing here?"

"I don't know. I just had to come." He sighs. "I couldn't let you go with how we left it. You thinking that I... That I hated you. Because I don't Aves, I really don't. And I was mad because you were all I wanted after it happened, and you were all I didn't get."

"I'm sorry, so sorry Caleb. I should've been there. I just couldn't face it. I was too scared of what I'd find." I look at him, and this time he returns my stare.

"it doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that I could lose you Aves. I can't lose you! Not now, not ever. I know this is really soppy and sad and pathetic but I don't care! I love you, Avery. And I can't let them take you from me."

"I love you too." I have nothing else to say, because both of us know there's nothing we can do. So instead, I cross the room and take his hands in mine, place my forehead against his. "I love you too."

And he presses his lips onto mine, and I return the kiss, embracing him like I never have before. Sure, we've kissed before but this time there's desperation, and fear, and real emotional baggage. Because we know this is goodbye.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Next thing I know, I'm boarding the train to the capitol with Isaac, Enobarbus and my new mentor, Theore Montano, one of the two District 5 winners. The other, I hear, is a raging alcoholic who won around the time I was born. Theore is older, probably around 45. District 5 doesn't have a very good reputation. Maybe Isaac will change that.

I watch my home pass by from the train window, knowing I'll never see it again. Every good memory I have, and probably ever will have, is in this place. As I leave, I kiss goodbye to my home, my love, my future and my life. I fight back the tears because I know if I start, I will never stop.

"Now my tributes," As if by some miracle, Enobarbus interrupts my thoughts. "Why don't you tell us a little about yourselves?"

"I'm Isaac. This is my sister Avery." Isaac tells them before I have the chance to. "We're all the other has. Our mother's dead, father's gone. It's been like that since I was ten and Avery was six."

"Wow. Quite a story. Very useful." I look at the man plotting in front of us. I don't know what I expected, we're Hunger Games gold. They will make thousands from us. The poor, tragic siblings, destined for death. How can winning be wonderful if it means your family will die? "So, do you have any skills that will keep you alive?"

"Careful. You sound like you actually care." Enobarbus looks hurt at my words. "Sorry, I didn't mean, I'm just. You know. As for skills, not as far as I know.

"Your being modest Aves." Isaac smirks. "Avery's really smart. I mean seriously smart. And she has this great instinct about her. That'll help keep us alive. Plus I'm pretty strong, I mean I've been working on the plantation for going on 8 years now so I know how to lift things properly. When you combine the two, we're pretty lethal."

"Spot on." Theore's first words take us all by surprise. "You two have the immediate team advantage. Your relatives. As long as you act like it, they will love you. The viewers love tragedy, and really what's going to be more tragic than you two? Two siblings for more than survival, for love."

"Exactly. Oh isn't it wonderful!" I give Enobarbus an incredulous look, because really this situation is anything but wonderful. "Now then, this isn't a bad journey! We'll be there in the night. There are compartments if you wish to sleep now, but I would suggest we spend some more time together! Now, Avery. Your name is an interesting one isn't it dear?"

"Hm? I'd say Enobarbus is far more unusual."

"Oh my dear please! Eno will suffice! And, well, yes it is an unusual name! It originated many years ago, centuries in fact, and was present in a play in the old times. And my last name, Jones, is a sign that I belong to an ancient ancestry you know."

"Really? Wow!" I catch Isaac's eye and we both attempt to conceal our amusement. The Capitol folk are so full of their own culture when really it's a miracle if Eno can even read with all that hair in his eyes.

"Indeed. So miss Blackshaw, how did you get your name?" He asks me, not realising how uncomfortable answering will make me.

"My mother chose it I think. But I don't remember her so I don't know why." I blurt out.

"She chose it because it means nobility. She figured it was a good start, and you were a pretty noble baby from the day you were born." Isaac answers for me. I resent how he remembers our mother. "Its like mine means 'he will laugh' because I was a happy baby from the first time she saw me. I guess it kind of fits my smiley nature" He winks at me.

"How interesting! So you remember your mother then Isaac? That is wonderfully useful too. The big brother who is all she has, her protector, her sustainer. He tells her about their mother, he –"

"Protected me from our father." I finish for him, knowing that I have to play along. I don't like it but my brother's survival is far more important to me than my feelings.

"Oh that is fantastic! We can definitely create something here. We'll be rolling in sponsorship!" He's glowing again, and I mean really glowing. He must have had surgery to allow him to do that. It's very strange. "I am so happy right now!"

"Great" Isaac and I say in unison. Neither of us really care about the sponsorship because we know that one of us will have to die in the arena, and the one that lives will want to too.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The train pulls into the Capitol and we're ushered to our rooms in the training tower immediately. I walk into the only room I'll ever sleep in again. That's the first time it hits me. I'll never see my house again. The only place I ever had a mother, and a father is gone forever. Because I know I'll never return. Even if Isaac and I are all that are left, he's leaving instead of me. I'll make sure of it. But I won't last that long. If I'm holding him back, I'll sacrifice myself.

I lay down on the bed, and for the first time realise just how tired I am. I close my eyes, and when I reopen them the birds are singing in the morning, the sun is shining through the blinds and there's someone knocking on my door. I should really get that, but oh how I don't want to! I force myself to slide out from under my covers and make my way to the door, opening it and moving out of the way just in time to avoid being squashed.

"Avery Blackshaw, I'm your new stylist, Vione Edwards. This is my team Eda, Emelda and Ezo." She barks, gesturing to what I can only assume are triplets behind her. They are absolutely identical, each wearing their bright blue hair in spikes that fly all over their heads. Their suits are what I can only assume are supposed to resemble rainbows, and contain all the colours I have ever seen a one capture. This Vione woman is no better. Her black hair is highlighted with pinks, purples and reds and, in fairness to her, is less eccentric than most capitol styles. Her suit is also a dark purple, and her trouser legs are tucked into lilac leather boots. Her make up is simply ridiculous, and her lips have most definitely been altered to be that size. Still, there's something scary about her.

"Now, as you will know, each tribute is assigned a styling team on arrival and it is our job to make you stunning enough to appeal to sponsors. The first time you'll be shown to the public will be in two nights time in the chariot. And then you will have your interview. We will have your look perfected by then. But to make your outfits, we must take your measurements and details. So my time will do that as I ask you a few questions. Is that clear?" I give her a curt nod, which obviously doesn't satisfy her. "Come on girl, speak up! What are you an avox?"

"N-No, sorry. I understand"

"Excellent. So first thing's first, you are 14, correct?"

"Yes, not fifteen until next year."

"Right. Well your outfit will most definitely not reflect your age. 14 year olds don't tend to do well, not up against the 18 year olds. It's a rubbish age for the games. You're not the poor young children of 12 who will gain sponsors through pity, but you're not the strong 16-18 year olds who people will back because they have the best shot." I'm not sure if she notices how uncomfortable this makes me, or if she cares. "So, you will be made up to look older. You will be one the audience either want to be or want to be with. You need to be sexy. Do you understand?"

"Yes." I dislike the idea, and I know Isaac will not stand for it, but she's right. My age isn't one that is all that cared about. I mean I can only remember one 14 year old winner of recent times, and that was because he was stunning enough to charm everyone at his young age. I guess, If Isaac is going to win this, I'll need to be charming and beautiful to help him. My thoughts on the matter are interrupted by a knock at the door, and by the time I've looked to see who it is Theore's head is already around the door.

"Sorry to interrupt everyone, but Avery's expected at training in fifteen minutes."

Training. As if this day couldn't be worse.

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_**So I think we're getting somewhere now! If anyone has any ideas on any other tributes then they are very welcome. I still haven't really created them other than a few. I do know what will be happening in story though! :)**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey guys! **_

_**First of all thank you to all the people that have favourited/subscribed to the story! It means a lot! Also, thanks for the constructive review! And yes, that was a shakespeare reference with Enobarbus, I thought it would be quite fitting for the Capitol to have references back to 'old society' like that but have no clue what they mean! Plus the actual character of Eno suits my plans for this escort! :)**_

_**So here's chapter 5, I'm trying to get this done quite often because I have some free time right now, but I can assure you it'll slow down in a while because I have exams in school on their way. But even then I intend to be writing this as an escape! :)**_

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Theore tells the stylists he'll walk me down to the elevator where Isaac is waiting and I get my first look at our temporary home. It's so grand, grander than anything I've never seen before. Grander than the justice building on 5, hell grander than all of 5. But then, this is the Capitol. This isn't like the districts, where people have to work hard in dangerous jobs. This is where people live in luxury. I can't help but dare to dream of it. If I did come out alive, I could live like that too. But then reality sets in and it's too painful to think about. To think that this time next week, I could be dead. Or worse, Isaac could be. I force myself to tune in to whatever Theore's talking about. It's probably important for my survival, but then there's not really much point in that.

"So today, you do not show off any skills you have you here?"

"I don't have any skills to show" I say, holding back a laugh. Being so laidback will probably annoy him.

"Don't tell them that. It's suicide" he smiles. "You can do this you know. Most of them will be like you today. You've got to think about what you do back home, and how that'll help you survive here. Translate your skills kiddo. So, what have you got in your favour?

"Nothing! Back home I go to school, Isaac works and earns for me. I don't have skills to translate!"

"Stop putting yourself down." He stops and turns to face me, a serious look taking over his features. "If you keep like this, you destroy your chances completely. And the destruction of your chances mean the destruction of Isaacs. I know you're only pretending your coping, thinking it'll make you look tough. But that scares people away Avery, you need to open up if you're going to get anyway. I've been mentoring for years now, and there's only been one 5 winner other than me. Looking at you and your brother I think this year could be the year to change that. But I need you to help. I know you don't intend on coming out alive. I can see it in your eyes every time we talk about the games, or you look at your brother."

"I can't live if it means he has to die."

"I know. And that's why you won't talk about your skills. What is it, easier to not train so that you're hopeless when you go in and die straight away? That will just make Isaac more desperate to protect you. If you want to save him, you have to put up a fight too. "He sighs at me and I can see the pain in his eyes. The pain that being a mentor causes him. "Please don't make my job harder than it is okay? You're a good kid Avery, don't waste your life. If you train up, you could make a difference to his survival. Save his life even. If you've already decided you're going to die, make it worth it, okay?"

"Okay." I say, thinking about his original question. "Back home, I used to cook for us. I guess I'm pretty handy with a knife. I'm not saying I could throw it or anything, but it's something I'm used to holding, that'll feel familiar in my hand. Plus, I know a bit about plants from school, as well as first aid. I could practice up on those things. Maybe try my luck with a sword. I know I'm not exactly build like a warrior but I think I might be able to handle a sword."

"Good, see that's the kind of thinking we need. Try throwing a knife, if you're good at it then don't throw another. Wait until the last day to perfect it. Maybe try a bow and arrow too. Like you say, you're not build like a warrior, so weapons that distance you from your target might be best. But a sword's a good backup." He smiles at me, and I feel as if I've done something good, like I've made him happy. By the time we're finished our conversation we've reached the elevator and Isaac.

"Great that's both of you ready for training. Today, I want you two to spend most of your time watching the others, sniffing out their talents rather than revealing yours. But make sure you do something, even if it means spending a day doing camouflage or something. You don't have time to waste." I see the flicker of sadness cross his brown eyes again, and I decide I like Theore. He truly cares about us, and it's nice. He ushers us into the elevator. "Now, you don't want to be late! Off you go, and keep out of trouble!"

The morning of training wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Not everyone was awful. Some of them were nice. Of course there were the immediate careers who had volunteered sticking together, but the majority were like me, thrown into the situation with no choice. I spend most of my time fleeting between the survival skill workshops, trying not to show any possible skills off like Theore said. And other's seem to have been told the same thing. By lunch I have gotten friendly with three others: the district three tributes Aliona Dominae and Michael Thrash, and Mistra Lowe from 8. They're nice and, like me, don't really have any experience in defensive skills.

"So, what's it like to be here with your brother?" Mistra asks me over the table in the dining hall as we eat and Isaac collects his lunch. If she has a fault it'd be that she doesn't really seem to sense any boundaries.

"Horrible." I mumble, not wanting to go into it and hoping she'll take the hint. She doesn't seem to, but Aliona does and changes the topic. I like her.

"So, what's 5 like? It's pretty necessary to our district seeing as it provides all the power. Actually, I suppose that makes it pretty necessary to all districts" She says, giving a nervous laugh. She doesn't belong here, but then I suppose none of us do. Not even the careers. Isaac joins us and we all chat a bit about home and the lives we led before the games, the lives it is pretty much impossible we'll return to.

After lunch we return to training for the remainder of the afternoon. I stick with those three in survival workshops while Isaac does proper training. Apparently while I've been told to learn about this, he's been told to learn to fight off the others. It makes sense I suppose, both are necessary for us to survive. And if I can learn enough about edible plants I can choose the one that will cause my death at the perfect moment so that Isaac survives.

After training I have my second meeting of the day with the stylists and 'Vile Vione' as I have so imaginatively named her. I think I must've drawn the short straw on that one, she's foul. After two sessions with her, all the woman has done is find problems with me, or with the triplets.

"You're doing it again Avery. Will you pay attention?" She barks at me for what has to be at least the sixth time since we started.

"Sorry" I mumble, but I'm not. In fact now I'm doing it on purpose.

"What is wrong with you? Why can't you just listen? Stupid girl."

"I have nothing wrong with my listening ability, I'm just fed up of you putting me down all the time! We've known each other for a day and yet you're comfortable enough to tell me everything is wrong with me. I'm going to my death her! Maybe give me some sympathy? You know, try being less of a heartless bitch."

"Leave us." She snaps at the triplets and gives me a distasteful look as they stumble from the room, getting caught in the door as they all try to get out first. They're quite comical really. Unintentional, but still funny. "Do you really think I could do my job if I wasn't so heartless? You think I like turning up here every year and making you kids look pretty so you can go die. In all the years I've been doing this I have never styled a winner. So excuse me for not getting close to you, or telling you how beautiful you are, how you don't deserve to be here. We both know these things are true! I can't tell every child that I still this though because I know chances are I'll never see them again after they go up that tube. All I can do is style you. I can't save you. And whether I'm nice or nasty towards you that won't change."

"I'm sorry." And this time I really am. "I didn't think. I – "

"Was too busy focusing on trying not to die? I understand."

"Actually I'm thinking about ways to die. When it'd be right. For Isaac."

"Oh, child. Do you really think that brother of you will ever see it as a right time? If you die in the arena or in 50 years time, he will never see it as right. He proved that much when he ran to that stage to comfort you." She sighs. "I think that will do today. I'm sure you trust me to make the outfits acceptable? Trust me on them. I know what I'm doing."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry that I am unpleasant, but this job is harder than it seems. You're all so young, so innocent, so condemned." She tells me as she leaves. And I know she is a far better person than I first thought. "You three! Stop slacking we have much work to be done! Chop chop!" I hear her yell at the triplets, and I can't help but laugh at how easily she slips from 'Vione' to 'Vile Vione'.

Citizens of the Capitol have far more to them than the districts have seen.

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_**So, I think I'm pretty happy with where this is going. The next chapter may be quite a difficult one though, I think it'll just be everything that I need to do before I can do the bit I'm really looking forward to!**_

_**Please Review/Favourite/Suscribe! :)**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Well hey there! It's been a bit longer, stupid internet broke down and then mulitiple things to catch up on! **_

_**Okay, so here's chapter 6. I think I've got one more chapter then it's the games! **_

_**Review/favourite/suscribe! 3**_

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After Vione leaves I head to an early dinner with Isaac, Theore and Eno. The amount of food is crazy to us and I catch Isaac giving me an expression that says just that. For two people who have struggled to afford food for the past eight years, an sixth of what is in front of us probably would've done for a week. I watch Eno stuffing himself and wonder what he'd do if it was taken from him, if he had to starve all his life. I dislike myself for resenting him, but I can't help it. I know his privileged upbringing isn't his fault but jealousy doesn't follow logic. Theore is different, but then I suppose he's one of us. Maybe he starved all his life too. It's unlikely. But chances are he grew up in a home where they had to keep tabs on their spending. He still eats a lot, probably because he's been here so long that he's used to it by now.

"Avery?" I hear Eno say, pulling me from my thoughts. "Are you with us?"

"Yes, sorry." I say, looking up at their worried expressions. "What were you saying?"

"Well I was just talking about our plan for the chariots and interviews. Personally, I think it would look great if we had Isaac with a protective arm around you in the chariot, but Eno feels that's too much" Theore tells me, looking at me as if I'm supposed to give some sort of input too.

"I want to do it anyway. I mean those crowds are loud and brutal, I don't want to leave you to face them alone. I get it when the tributes are strangers, but we're siblings, you've known me your whole life. It makes sense for us to be..."

I nod at Isaac, settling the debate. "So what do we have to do for the interviews? What's the best way to play it?"

"Well" Eno begins, and I notice Isaac scowl into his food. Whatever their intentions, he doesn't agree. "We were hoping you'd be willing to portray yourself as a scared, lost child who depends on her brother. We think it'll gain both of you sympathy and sponsors."

"But it'll make us look like an easy target!" growls Isaac, and I see his temper flaring. "It labels her as my weakness if I go on and talk about how I'll do anything to save her. And it weakens her completely. Says if they take me out, she's defenceless! It's giving the other tributes a weapon!"

"Isaac, the other tributes can be proved wrong. I'll just need to be able to fight them off to show them." I sigh. "I don't like any of this, but earning sponsors is far more important than worrying about seeming weak to other tributes. Don't you think they'll already think I'm weak? I'm spending all my time in survival skills, that cries out that I won't be able to fight! We might as well use what they already know to gain support for this. And anyway, it might tell them to ease off us if we're popular. If they kill one of us, the survivor's sponsorship would double and they would lose some of theirs through seeming heartless. We have to play this."

"Fine" He mumbles, but I can see has he gets up to leave he's not happy.

When I return from dinner I find Vione and the triplets waiting in my room for me. They usher me in and show my outfit for the chariots which I now have to prepare for. Great. It's questionable to call that a dress. The material is an electric blue, I'd imagine because 5 makes power. Aren't the clever? But the colour isn't that bad, it's the length and the fact I'll be lucky if it covers more than my waist. I don't quite understand why they're all so excited until the light of my bedside lamp catches it and I see a flash of what looked to be lightening across it.

But, before I have a chance to try it on, I'm strapped to my chair and they begin the dying of my hair and then my face with make-up. The Triplets make polite conversation with me, and tell me of various capitol traditions that will occur tonight. They're pretty simple, well no they're very simple, people but they're nice. And in my situation, nice is wonderful.

I go to stand up as they finish my hair, only to feel them pushing me down again.

"Oh no, this isn't done yet!" They tell me frantically, replacing me as I was before. I feel something heavy being tucked around my head and see a flash of blue fall in the corner of my eyes.

"What is this?"

"Your wig. We've had to combine your two hairstyles because there isn't enough time between the chariots and interview to redo it all. We'll be lucky to get the wig off and your hair fixed in time." Vione tells me as she enters the room, watching the triplets rush around trying to sort me out. "Her head looks great, leave it alone and get that dress on her!"

They jump at Vione's sharp tone and slip me into my dress, its silver straps wrapping around my arms and shoulders holding it up as the bottom reaches just above my mid thigh. It's very tight. But when I catch sight of my reflection I understand why.

"Well? What do you think?" One of the triplets ask me gleefully.

"Wow." I whisper, having nothing else to say. I've never seen myself look anything like this. I'm so used to the plain me, in my normal clothes. The baggy shirts that belonged to Isaac before me, the altered outfits belonging to my mother that my father hadn't destroyed in an alcoholic rage, or we'd had to sell to make some money. Now, I don't look like a girl going to her death, like a lamb to the slaughter, I look like a warrior princess, beautiful but strong. The silver make-up surrounds my eyes and falls down my left cheek in light streaks like lightening. My wig is the exact colour of my hair, except bright blue extensions have been added to the bottom. And my dress, oh my dress! It clings to me perfectly, emphasising my chest, hips and legs that are longer than I'd ever noticed. "This is amazing. I – I – I am power. I don't just come from the power district, I am the power district, right?"

"Exactly. You have to be strong or the sponsors will think you're weak and a career kill in the bloodbath. None of us want that to happen so we have to make you seem strong" Theore says as he waltzes in the room. People in the capitol don't knock apparently. "I know we said you had to seem weak in your interview, but it's not the weak that you – or Isaac – expected. We need you to look strong, but show your weaker side. That'll get you sympathy, but not make you seem like a lost hope. It's about balance."

"But where does Isaac fit into all this?"

"He comes off as the great big brother that'll keep you safe, won't take anything from anyone over you. Caesar will make comments about how beautiful you looked, how you must've had a fair few boys chasing after you back home and Isaac'll put him straight about that one."

"What if Caesar asks me that question? Do I tell him I did?"

"Did you?" Vione smirks at me from across the room. It's the first thing she's said since Theore appeared. From that moment she seemed more interested in him than me.

"Just one. Caleb. He came to see me before I left for here, when I was in the justice building."

"Interesting, that'll be useful." Theore says, smiling slightly. "Yes, tell Caesar that. If he doesn't ask then tell him you have a secret to tell him. The capitol citizens love a bit of a bad one. If they think you've been going behind Isaac's back they'll love it."

"What else should I be saying?"

After I'm all made up and coached, I'm sent off in preparation for the chariots and made to wait around the horses for a while until the Capitol is ready for us. As Isaac helps me up on to our platform I catch the eyes of Aliona and Michael and smile at them, silently wishing them luck. I wonder if I could really kill them. If it was for me then I definitely couldn't. But to save Isaac, I'd kill anyone.

We're fifth out because we're district 5. Makes sense really. We hear screams of excitement and joy that we've only ever seen on TV before. Roses are thrown at us, we seem to already be a pretty big hit. That's nice. A good sign I guess. I'm almost used to the whole charade when it's done and we're stopped outside President Snow's mansion for the ceremony that is done every year.

Snow appears and talks his usual talk. No big deal, no different to any other year. I look around as I pretend to listen, and watch the faces of the 23 people around me. This is so wrong, we're nothing more than children! How can the kill us like this? They have children, they should see it.

They should see how barbaric this all is.

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_**Okay, so I'm not as happy with this chapter as the others but I think it's kind of necessary. **_

_**Next one is expected to be better! :)**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hey all! I am so sorry this took really long! I wasn't all that happy with the previous chapter so I wanted to make this one better. And then my internet broke down so I couldn't post, then I kind of forgot but I got a personal message today which reminded me, so thank you to luckeeduck444!**_

_**Anyway, here is the long awaited chapter!** _

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We're rushed from the chariots and away from the screaming crowd. I hold on to Isaac tightly, like a lost child in a terrifying world. That's what I am I suppose. My big brother smiles at me as we're pushed forward to the inner-state train that'll take us to where our interviews are being held. An interview with Caesar. Caesar interviews celebrities. From tonight, I am a celebrity. I quite like that feeling, but then, I don't like that I'll be famous for dying.

We get there, walking into this clean fancy building with marble staircases and gold light fittings. I swallow my smirk at how wasteful the capitol people are. A sliver of gold would've fed Isaac and I for a week, and yet here they use it to hold up their lights. The paintings on the walls show strange people in strange places, old politicians, favoured celebrities, gamemakers and I imagine the ones I don't recognise all that well are old victors, ones who the capitol liked the most. I know it is when I see a painting of a face I recognise, Finnick Odair, quite a recent winner from district 4. I do find it amazing how districts 4 and 5 can be so close and yet so different. In 4 they have careers, they are trained to kill, they're ready for the fight. In 5 we pretend the games don't really exist between the reaping, and the games, and the victory tour which never includes one of 5's tributes, at least not for as long as I remember.

We reach a corridor with what I imagine are dressing rooms. Isaac is ripped from me and taken to one while I am marched towards another. I'm shoved in and find Vione waiting for me, a new dress hanging on the wall beside her and the triplets fumbling with something in the background.

"Sit." She orders. "We don't have time for politeness now, we've got to get you in and out of here. Hair styled, make-up changed and looking stunning. Understand?"

"Yes." I answer, knowing now is not the time to annoy her by pretending I can't hear what she says to me. "Why is the interview on the same night as the chariot race this year?"

"Games are behind schedule apparently." Vione sighs, "I don't believe that mind, I think they're just trying to make our jobs more difficult. But they want tributes in public eye and known ASAP, then you'll be rated tomorrow night and into the games in two days."

I watch her face crumple a bit as the triplets get to work. I can't be sure because it happened so quickly, but I think there was actual fear across it. Fear and sadness, she really does care. "Okay. Well, I better sit still so you can get this done as best as possible."

So I do. I sit and allow the triplets to work on my hair, make-up and nails, changing my appearance again. I feel them removing my wig and curling my real hair, which seems to be longer now. It is much longer in fact. Then I'm told to get up and am slipped into a new, but just as wonderful dress and shown my reflection.

"You guys are incredible." They've kept the power thing going, but softened it slightly this time. My dress is a simpler one, and the same colour as the last but this time I see the lightning flashes properly. It's a younger version of my previous one I suppose, probably so we can do the big brother - little sister thing well. My hair is indeed much longer and has been curled, but also now is a lighter brown bordering on blonde with silver streaks through it. My make up is softer, a brown eye shadow that deepens my eyes and longer eyelashes. But there's still a lightening streak down the left side of my face, the side that isn't somewhat masked by a side fringe. "I feel amazing. These flashes, are they controlled by me?"

"Not really" One of the triplets speaks so quickly that I have to really concentrate on what she's saying. "It kind of is. Like when you laugh or get really emotional. It's very clever, but we couldn't get it in your control completely. But it means you'll be able to be sad and vulnerable but still seem strong and powerful!"

"You look wonderful my dear!" Eno announces waltzing into my room without knocking, not that I'm surprised. "Your team have made you wonderfully! But we need to be going now, the interviews will start soon!"

I thank my team for their help and head off with Eno to wait for my turn, meeting Isaac on the way. He's been dressed up into a smart suit with the electric blue matching tie. I wonder if the lightning effect has been used on his jacket too but I don't get time to ask. We're ushered away down the corridor in an environment that doesn't really allow words.

I watch the tributes complete their interviews and get more nervous by the minute. It doesn't help that we have to go on individually, and that I'm before Isaac. I listen to all of the tributes speak, the careers talk about how they've been trained and are ready, confident, proud to be here. My friends from 3 show they're nervous but ready, and they're going to give it all they've got. I watch as 4 charm the crowd, showing their wit and intellect and I wish I could do the same. And then I'm rushed on, totally unprepared.

"Please welcome Miss Avery Blackshaw!" I hear Caesar call before I'm blinded by the bright lights of his studio and my ears are filled by the screams of the audience. "Please my dear sit!" He tells me as I make my way to the seat across from him.

"So, Miss Blackshaw, are you ready for the games?" He has no choice but to get straight to it, we don't have long.

"Honestly Caesar? No, I'm not. I don't know how to do much. I mean I have some skills that I can transfer, but really I don't know much."

"Oh my poor dear! I'm sure you're just being modest!"

"No I'm not Caesar. My brother did everything. He's been my entire life since I was ten years old, and I've been his. And now we're supposed to kill each other? It's so wrong! I know I'm never coming out of those games because if I do, Isaac won't. So, if you count that as prepared, then I guess I am." I listen for the crowd's reaction and get nothing. Complete silence from everyone for seconds that seem to last hours. And then, finally, Caesar coughs and begins to speak.

"So, eh, your brother kept you safe?" Caesar asks, blatantly avoiding a tough subject.

"Yes. He fought my father when I was ten after he came home from school and found dad had beaten me. We never saw him again. From that day on, he worked on the plantation beside our house. He'd do anything to protect me, and I'd do the same for him. He's been basically all I've had all of my life. He used to take beatings for me when my father was around and –"

"Yes dear, that is a touching, touching story" he pats my knee just to make sure I know how touching it was. "But what do you mean, basically all you've had? Am I to understand there is another man in your life? I'm sure a stunning girl like you would be fighting them off! Doesn't she look stunning ladies and gentlemen?"

"Thank you Caesar, you're so kind. And well. There may have been someone, but it's a secret. Can I trust you enough to tell you?"

"Always my dear!" He flashes that familiar smile.

"Well. There were boys, sure. But I was never all that interested in them. That is, until Caleb. Oh, if I was to survive this he'd kill me for telling!" I pause for laughs, they come right on cue. "We went to school together, became more than friends. I know I'm young but 5 is like that! We're married by 20 at the latest. Isaac doesn't know about us though. I guess that's what stopped us moving towards being anyway. And now we never will be anything. So Caleb, I know you'll be watching. And I just have to say I'm sorry for messing you about. For not being there for you when you needed me. For not telling you I loved you until after the reaping. Because I do love you, and I'm so sorry I'll never get to see you again." I look around me and see the men in the crowd crying, the women sobbing, some hysterically. I turn back to Caesar who seems to be trying to control his own emotions.

"My dear, it is such an honour to have you here. I hope to see you again someday. Ladies and Gentlemen, your first 5 tribute, Avery Blackshaw!" And the crowd roars in applause as I wave goodbye and head backstage towards Theore and Eno waiting in the wings.

"Do good?" I ask smiling.

"Brilliant. That was amazing! You've definitely won them over there! That was really touching Avery." Theore actually looks proud of me. It's getting harder to be here. Of course, I've upset myself by talking about Caleb, and telling my deepest darkest secrets to all of Panem, but I'm actually getting attached to those around me. I don't want to leave them. I don't want to leave the world. I don't want to die. But then I catch sight of of Isaac's interview.

"So, Isaac. What do you make of your sister's little revelation?"

"Well Caesar, I'm not sure it's quite sunk in yet. I mean I really had no idea!" He laughs falsely, and I know this isn't going to end well for me. "I don't know why she didn't tell me. Guess I'm a bit more protective than I knew!"

As I watch Isaac on the screen, I forget to be worried about dying and realise I'll be lucky to reach the arena. Big Brother's not happy.

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_**What do you all think? Review, favourite etc so I know please! :D**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hey everyone! Sorry this has taken so long! I'm in the middle of exams right now, so I'm writing to de-stress myself, though finding it hard to find the time! Anyway, I'm really quite happy with this part of the story, hopefully you all are too. Review/Follow/Suscribe if you want!**_

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"What the hell was that about?" Isaac shouts as soon as the door of our accommodation is closed behind us.

"The truth. And A lifeline for you. For us."

"Caleb? You and Caleb? Why didn't you mention it!" His anger is apparent, but so is the pain that is just visible underneath it all. I've betrayed him with this and it's going to be difficult to make it up to him.

"I didn't think you'd approve. And you do so much so I-I-I..."

"So you thought you'd lie to me! And what, use me to survive? Well that's just great Avery! Great." He says, scowling at me as he heads off towards his room.

"Isaac, please don't just leave it like this. Please." I whisper but he pays no attention. I turn to Eno and Theore, feeling anger swelling inside me. "You two! Why did you make me reveal that? Look what it's done! No matter what now, I've lost my brother! I won't be able to make this up to him before we go into that arena. And now he's going to mess up because he'll be so distracted!"

"Avery, it will be okay. He'll calm down. He loves you." Eno tries to assure me, but I pay no attention

"Yeah he loves me, and he just had to find out that I've been with someone he hates third hand! We're each other's lives, do you know what's that like? We're all each other have!"

"Please dear, this won't make anything any better. You've got to calm down. We need to preserve your energy." Eno begs me.

"No. You trying being me and then YOU calm down! I am going to lose everything! Why should I calm down? What difference will it make? I'm about to die either way! Actually, why don't I do it now? Why don't I just end it all, they might cancel the games!"

I walk towards the kitchen area and the knife block and pull out the biggest one there. I hold it between my hands, spinning it slightly, thinking over what might happen if I did it. Would they call off the games? Highly unlikely I suppose, but it could happen, there's a first time for everything. Surely if there was a chance that it could help Isaac, I should take it? So I will. It's time to end it. Here and now. I raise the knife in my right hand and set against my left wrist, feeling the cold, harsh metal press against it.

I wake up to light spilling onto my bed, and feel something heavy at my side, just out of my view. I turn my head to see the familiar messy hair I was so used to seeing after a nightmare as a child.

"Isaac?"

"Mhmm." He mumbles, pulling himself up to look at me. "Hey kid."

"Hey. What happened? How did I get here?"

"You tried to slice your wrist open. Well actually you kind of did before I got the knife away from you. You kind of fell as I took I from you and you banged your head. I'm so sorry Aves, I never meant to hit you or anything, it was an accident, I didn't mean it to happen I just knocked into you and you fell. I didn't mean to be... To be like him." He sighs eventually, his eyes clouding over.

"Isaac. Don't be silly! You've probably saved my life. I could've killed myself there and then, so instead of being dead I have a cut wrist and a banged head. You saved me. Thank you." I tell him, holding his hands and watching as he gives me a weak smile in return.

"Aves, just so you know. You are never to do this to me again okay? I know I was mad at you last night, but I can't bare the thought of losing you. When I heard you shouting about killing yourself, nothing else mattered. I just had to be there to stop you. So I ran through and I grabbed the knife before you could do any more damage than you already had. I don't care if you were seeing Caleb behind my back now okay? I just care that you're alive. Never do this to me again." The tears are rolling from both of us now, and we know there are no more words to say. We both know what the other is thinking, that in a few days time we are expected to be enemies, but we never will be. I know that I thought it before, but you can never be sure until survival instincts kick in. Except now I can be sure. Now I know that I will never kill him, and he will never kill me. Despite my promises, I know I will have to make sure I die first, one way or another.

"Sorry to interrupt" I hear from behind me and turn to see Theore in the doorway. "But we have a long day ahead of us, and we best get started. Oh and Avery, I don't know if Isaac has informed you, but we've decided we cannot tell anyone of your actions last night. The recuperations are not worth it. One of the Avox's has fixed you up so you're in no danger, but you will be if the Capitol finds out about this.

We all wait in the assigned area to be called. One by one we're taken in for our short slots to impress the gamemakers.

"This is possibly the most important part of your pre-games time. This is the time where you identify yourself. Likeability only gets you so far. A sponsor won't go for someone they see unlikely to escape the cornucopia and waste their money. This rating is essential! Don't mess it up!" I remember Theore's parting words and know I'm going to do just that. I haven't practiced any weapons, I don't really know my skills, hell I spent most of training talking to my new friends. But I have to try, for Isaac.

I watch as the tributes are called one by one until it is Isaac's turn. He stands up and smiles at me, looking like he's in complete control of himself as he turns away and heads in the same direction as those before him. He'll be fine. He knows what he's doing. His only problem is that he's attached to me. And when I mess up, I mess up for him too.

That time seems to be the longest I've ever had to wait. I sit in silence, like almost everyone else because we all know how important this is. But then I'm called and I find myself making my way to the training room which, upon entering, seems to be bigger and scarier than ever before. I suppose the fear is understandable, I mean we've never really been watched before, and even then there were plenty of more interesting people than me so I could hide away in the shadows. Now, now I have to be interesting. Interesting makes me survive.

I look around, hoping something will catch my eye. The gamemakers watch me, expecting me to start, to do something, to show I'm a fighter. But I'm not a fighter. My whole stance so far has been about surviving for love. Or dying for love as it probably seems. But this time, well this time I have to fight for love. I have no choice. I think back through all of mine and Theore's conversations about my skills. And then I remember it, I remember the knife. It's worth a try, I don't have anything else. I look around and see it sitting in a pile of weapons. I run to it and pick it up, but then don't really know what to do with it. But there's a dummy and I've got a knife so it's worth a try right? Not like I've got another option. So I throw it best I can and watch as it flies through the air and straight into the middle of the dummy's head.

"Wow!" I say to myself out loud, then remember where I am and that shock and being skilled probably isn't a good idea. Going on the logic that I have an apparent good aim, I pick up the axe remembering how lethal Johanna Mason became when holding one and throw that too. It's not as amazing as the knife, but I do manage to slice an arm from the poor dummy so I guess it'll do.

I look at the other weapons in front of me and decide that I better not push my luck. At least I've shown I can do something. So I leave the weapons and run over to the dummy, pulling he knife from it's head and taking it and the fallen axe with me to where the skilful utensils lie. I use the rest of my time to prove my survival skills, showing the gamemakers I can make knots with the ropes that could catch opponents, start fires, camouflage myself into my surroundings and climb quickly.

I know my time is running out and that they've gotten what they needed to know. I look at their faces and I can tell it's not enough. They don't look disappointed, but they're no amazed either. I'm average. And I cant afford to be just average. So I decide it's time to be brave and try my luck again. I get up to leave, I pick up the axe and, without looking behind me, I throw it in the direction I believe the dummy lies. As I open the door, I dare to glace behind me as I hear the clatter and see the dummies head rolling on the ground beside the axe which has taken it from the shoulders.

That has to be impressive enough.

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_**Okay, so hopefully the next bit will be up within the next couple of days. I know what I want to do with it so I just need to get to it!** _

_**Please tell me what you're thinking of the story, and if you have any ideas they are very welcome, though I do know certain things that are going to happen already that are totally set in stone!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hey everyone! First of all, sorry to anyone who got confused about the different order thing, it suited my plan to swap it about! So hopefully this update'll be faster, I do feel bad for taking so long with each one! Silly life getting in the way!**_

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"How was it?" Isaac asks me as soon as I'm back in the accommodation where he sits with Theore, Vione and the triplets. As soon as I left the arena, Eno ushered me back to where they were waiting for me. Looking at their faces, I can tell the all expected the worst.

"It was.. Good?" I say doubtfully, and give them a blow by blow account of what I did in my session. When I finish they all look at me with a somewhat stunned expression. "What? Is this bad?"

"No, dear girl this is excellent!" Eno tells me, beaming. "What you have done is completely unexpected, making it all the more impressive! Everyone was anticipating a strong Isaac who would be weakened by you, but you seem to be strong on your own. We'll make a warrior out of you yet my child!"

"I will never be a warrior Eno, no matter what." I turn to Isaac, being sure to avoid an awkward silence that could've been left by my comment. "How did yours go?"

"Good, yeah." He smiles. "Showed what I can do with as many weapons as I could, and made a shield out of the weapons holder. They didn't see that one coming."

"Is that why I got a pile of weapons? They were all just on the floor!" I glare at him, pretending to be angry when neither of us could be happier. Well, not in the situation we're in anyway.

"Oops, yeah I guess they didn't have a second holder. Oh well, not like it did you any harm Aves."

"Thanks for your concern!" I laugh, and we sit around chatting in the happiest atmosphere we've had since the reaping. And yet there is an underlying tension that we all feel developing from our nerves over our ratings. We wait and wait until it's time for the broadcast and all sit around the television that turns itself on automatically when it's time.

"You ready?" Isaac asks me, squeezing my hand in support as we watch Caesar's introduction. By the time I'm listening properly, he's talking about their new move to have the tributes nearest and dearest there while the ratings are announced on a live feed from their districts, to get the family reactions live.

"This is for you two!" Theore says, not hiding the shock in his voice. "This is so they can show how much you mean to Caleb, or how a community suffers from watching two siblings go in."

"I'm sure it's not just for us" Isaac replies, looking exasperated by Theore's ongoing need to believe we're more special than the rest.

"I wouldn't be if I were you. This has been prompted by something."

"Will you all shut up! We'll miss it!" Vione barks, winking at me.

"And now to the first of our tributes, we kick things off with miss Rosiel Stonch from district one! Miss Stonch has been given a 6 for her ability in the games!" I look around the room, worried now. From what I'd seen of this girl, she was better than me. I tune back in fast enough to hear that Markus Vonter, the other 1 tribute had been given a 9, which still seemed quite low for the careers.

I listen along to the other tributes, worried by the lower than usual career scores, with both of two only getting 8's. I wince when Aliona is given a 5, but my feels are improved when Michael is awarded an 8. After each of the district announcements, there is a crossover to show the reaction of the district, though no district or tribute family looks overjoyed so far. The 4 tributes, Fisher and Mila are given an 8 and a 4. The 4 is awful for a career and my shock is mirrored around the room, and in the district 4 live feed. But our shock doesn't last long before it's replaced with fear and apprehension because now it's our turn.

"And now, we go to district 5 and Miss Avery Blackshaw! This young lady has gone down a treat with our viewers so far, but what do our gamemakers think? Well apparently they see something in her because Miss Blackshaw has been given a 9! Congratulations, I feel we may have our underdog!"

"Wow." I whisper, looking at the delighted faces around me, but none of us dare to celebrate before Isaac's results.

"And now we turn to our male 5 tribute, and Miss Blackshaw's big brother, Isaac! Well apparently skills run in the family because Mr Blackshaw has been given a 11! Our highest score yet. And now we pass over to district 5 to see the reception of this wonderful news!"

We're all almost too excited to register what's going on in 5. But as soon as I spot that hair through all of the crazed celebrations I know where my full attention has to be. And it has to be on Caleb being interviewed.

"Well, this is amazing! I mean I knew she was good but I didn't realise she was that good!"

"And what about her brother, Isaac?"

"Well we've never really spent much time together, but I know how much he means to Aves so of course I'm made up about that too." He smiles at the interviewer, and I can tell he's won everyone over already.

"I'm sorry to say we don't have much more time, but is there anything you want to say to Avery to finish us off here?"

"Aves, don't worry about all the wasted time. That's okay. We'll have loads of time to make up for it when you get back from winning this thing. I love you, make sure you come home okay? See you soon."

And then he's gone, replaced by Caesar, and I can feel all the happiness I had just developed being replaced by heartbreak. I'd like nothing more than to go back to him, to be with him, marry him, make a proper family with him. But I can't, because no matter what, Isaac is here with me and I cant change that. So I swallow my tears and pretend to listen to the rest of the tributes. I watch as Mistra is scored a 7, her male counterpart receiving a 5. Then the 7 tributes get a 4 and a 7, 8's get a 6 and a 3 and then I stop paying attention. At the end, Isaac is the highest rated, followed by me and Markus on 9, which is great for us but tonight, after wanting it for so long, I don't even care. So rather than celebrate or spend my last night how I should, I get up and go to bed and finally sob and mourn my lost future.

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_**Review, follow etc please!**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hey! Well it's been a long long time since I uploaded and I'm so sorry for that! Silly life getting in the way. Anyway, I have some free time so I intend on getting these done while I can! **_

_**Okay, I tried something different with part of this chapter, I'd love to know if you guys think it worked or not! So please review! **_

_**I promise chapter 11, hopefully today!**_

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You wake up early the next morning and just sit. Sit and think about all you're about to lose. Is today the day that you die? That your new friends do? You know from watching the games how unlikely it is that everyone you care about will survive the bloodbath of day 1. Will you become a murderer? Are you willing to kill to avoid being killed? Or to save those that you love? There are so many questions that need answers, and yet you don't want to seek the answers because of where they'll be found.

Thinking about it all is unbearable. So you leave the room, looking around one last time in case you never return. You eat breakfast with your team, making small talk with everyone but avoiding eye-contact, knowing that if you see the fear and sadness in their eyes, you wont be able to hide it in your own. So you all pretend there isn't tension in the room when really it's destroying the last moments of happiness you could be having. That you'll ever have.

After breakfast Vione and the triplets usher you away to get ready for the games. Your hair is done into it's pretty curls again so that you can appear like a seductive warrior to the sponsors . The uniforms are black leather, with the district number and last name of the left side of the chest. When you see yourself in them, you cant help but be pleased with how you look knowing you'll at least make an impression before you die.

You're taken back to your quarters, where you've lived with your team and "prepared" for these games since you left your real home forever. You've bonded with your team, yes. But prepared for the games? There's no way to. So you pretend you're ready anyway. You talk awkwardly to your team again and then say goodbye when the time comes. Theore takes you away with Isaac to where you'll board the ship to get to the arena. And for the first time you think of the arena. You wonder if it'll be water, desert, grass, forest, stone themed or something else they've come up with. You've been so focused on what will be lost in there that you forgot to consider the arena itself. Will you like the last place you ever exist in? On your way you feel nothing. Nothing but numbness.

The arena is big. Huge. Probably about the same size as district 5. As home. Home seems so far away as I stare out into the forests on my left. To my right there's only stone land that leads into mountains that seem all too volcanic. I'll be going to the left then. I catch Isaac's eye and gesture ever so slightly to my left, receiving the smallest of nods to confirm my plan is what we'll do. I look to the weapons. It all seems so simple to get. We just have to walk forward, take what we need, and go. What's to stop us? Well, we are. I assume they want us to kill straight away. No obstacles, just pure determination. Beastly.

We all stand in a circle around the cornucopia, waiting for the claxon to sound and tell us we can move. It's all quite magical. There's water behind us all flowing from the forest area that the sun bounces off. I'd like to think it'll be a good supply for survival later but somehow I doubt the gamemakers would ever be that kind. It's probably salt water or something. We'll soon find out. At least we will if we survive this part.

And then I hear it. The call of death. Some of you jump, you see Aliona is frightened by it's loudness, and then what it means. I can tell none of us want to be the first one to go, but after seconds that feel like hours I see Marbella Jones from district 2 leaping down and sprinting towards the weapons. But before she can reach them, there's a sudden burst of lightening from the sky which I swear was sunny seconds ago. Its as if her movement has triggered a storm. And then I understand that's just what's happened. We've been lulled into a false sense of security. The nice, welcoming arena from before is gone. Everywhere seems terrifying. But there's no time to think about it all anymore because everyone is moving now, towards the weapons and the food and the survival means, hoping that the time I spent thinking didn't already waste too many moments that you cant afford to spare.

I get there around as quickly as everyone else, maybe just a little bit quicker, and start grabbing everything I possibly can. I pull a bow and arrow case over my head and attach a belt of knives to my midrift, picking up rucksacks of food and other useful things as I pass them. I feel rain on my face and realise we're in a full blown storm now. I hear a scream echo from behind me and turn to see the district 7 girl being flown backwards as her fellow lies motionless on the ground where she previously stood. Lightening has struck and the arena has it's first victim. As the first death is the trigger, you hear the wind of an arrow go past your ear and turn to see it collide with Rosiel Stonch's risen arm. Her hand holds a sword. A sword, that was going to remove your head from your shoulders. You hear her cry out and turn to thank whoever is responsible only to see that it was Michael.

"We've got enough now Avery, lets go before it gets too bloody!" he shouts to you, reaching out his hand. You take it and smile. "Isaac's with Aliona, they're waiting so we need to hurry before they're seen!" We around the cornucopia, picking up the odd item I can reach as you pass.

"This is horrific!" You yell to him as you see lightening set fire to some grass to your left. "Do you think it's safe in the trees? The lightening isn't too dangerous is it?"

"Avery, I think everywhere is dangerous!" He says, actually managing to laugh as we reach Aliona and Isaac.

"Doing okay Aves?" I nod as Isaac checks up on me, regaining my breath. He walks over to me as Aliona and Michael walk towards the opening of the forest and hugs me, and in all of danger I feel as safe as I always have with him. "We have to keep moving, it's too dangerous to stay here while everyone else is. Too many unseen attacks."

We start walking towards the trees, keeping an eye out for any threats appearing behind us. Except when one does appear, I'm too slow to see it and on the floor before I've realised what's happening. I sit up as quickly as I fell and Look for Isaac beside me. But he's not there. I spin around, panicking until I see him.

There lies my brother, my only family in this damned world with a spear standing in his muscular form. And I lose it.


	11. Chapter 11

_**As promised! Read, review, favourite, etc!**_

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It wasn't like I did it. I was watching myself do it. Seeing Isaac on the ground like that pulled me from myself. I watched my body as it spun around, unhooked a knife from its place on the belt and throwing it in the direction of Isaac's attacker. I watch as my suddenly perfect aim sends the knife squarely into Markus Vonter's chest. I watch him fall to the ground in the same way I imagine Isaac did and then hear Marbella Jones scream in pure rage. I run at her, picking up the sword Isaac had previously carried as I pass it and strike her with it flooring her before she has a chance to react to me at all. I feel her blood hit me as I run back towards the cornucopia, so fuelled by hatred that I feel like killing the careers is the only form of justice for what has just happened.

I see Mistra from afar still scoping the cornucopia and I know she's not my enemy. But Rosiel is. She already tried to kill me. I look for her and find her battling with Fox from 8 over something. I pull a second knife from my belt and throw it at her and watch, satisfied, as it strikes her back and she screams. I see the district 4 tributes come running at me and I know I cant take both of them on. So I try to at least take the girl down. She's the first one to fight back. I raise the sword to her and she raises one of her own. We fight, all the time expecting her companion to kill me and get it over with. Finally, I get the last blow in and she falls to the ground at my feet gasping.

"Just kill me." She pleads. "End this, I don't want to live through these games. Finish me now. Please." And in this moment, I'm broken. Or I'm pulled back from my trance.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And I kill her. But it's not like the other kills. It's for good reasons. She wanted to be killed. It's different. I think about what I've just done I look down and notice the blood covering me. Some others, some my own. And then I remember what this was about. "Isaac."

I turn, and intend on running to where Isaac fell. Instead I see Mistra and Fox standing side by side watching me with fear and pity on their faces.

"Avery? Are you okay?" Mistra asks, her voice not hiding her fear.

"I'm not going to kill you if thats what you're asking. I say, looking at my feet showing that I'm ashamed of what I've just done. "I didn't mean for that to happen. It wasn't me. Not really. Wait, you're bleeding. Was that me?"

"No. Fisher came at you. You saved me with Rosiel. I couldn't just let him." Fox tells me. "I couldn't take him alone so Mistra ran to help. Thank you."

"It's okay." She tells him, offering a weak smile. "Was it Isaac? Did someone?"

"I think so." I whisper. "I just couldn't control myself. Oh god. Aliona and Michael would've seen. I didn't hurt them did I? They have to be okay!" I say running to where I left them. I turn the corner and find Aliona crouched over Michael blood leaking onto the ground around them. "No! No! No! Ali, what happened? I didn't? Did I?"

"No. Winston from 2. He saw the others on the ground and threw a knife. It hit him pretty bad. There's lots of blood and I don't know what to do!" Aliona wails and you cant help but feel to blame. I drop down to my knees beside them and Michael reaches up to me.

"I'm so sorry. So sorry. This is my fault. If I hadn't lost it..." I stop as he tells me to

"You.. Didn't case this Avery." He says and changes his attention to everyone else. "We need to move. I can still move. It's bad but we might find something in the bags but we have to move away. Avery. See Isaac."

On his orders, I run to my brother's body. Praying that he'll sit up as I reach him. But no luck. He stays as lifeless as before. I see the look of shock on his face, the sparkle has left his eyes and I feel nothing but pure pain. I want nothing more than to sob uncontrollably but we don't have time, not here. But I have to say goodbye.

"This is so unfair, Isaac. We were supposed to get through life, me and you. After everything we've been through." I say, sitting down beside his body and taking his hand. "I feel like this is dangerous and you'd be yelling at me to move but I'm not going yet, okay? Anyway. I love you. I'm not ready for you to be gone yet. You cant be. How do I live without you? I've coped without parents, but not without you. And I know I have to. I guess I have more fighting spirit than I thought. Well I suppose thats it then. I'll fight for you. You're what I need to power through for. I'll get out of this place for us Isaac. We're still a team, even if you're not here anymore in physically form. I'll get us both out."

And With that I pull his plantation tag from his neck and place the chain around my neck, close his eyes, tidy his hair ever so slightly, and kiss his forehead. "I love you." I whisper and walk back to the rest of them, ignoring the tears streaming down my face.

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_**Chapter 12 should be up soon! Please tell me what you think!** _


	12. Chapter 12

_**Hello to anyone reading this. **_

_**I am so sorry! Sososososo sorry! I really meant to update but I didn't like my ideas and well, here we are. It's been a long time I know. But now I've got this chapter done I'm pretty happy with where I'm going so hopefully I'll get more done really really soon. Hope you enjoy!**_

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Fire. Spreading out in front of us. Liquid fire. What do the history books call it? Lava? Yes, that's right. It's what comes out of those volcano things. We never had any of them in 5. I try to think of anything I've ever read about the stuff and decide that whatever we do, we don't touch it. I can remember that it burns and I know the gamemakers haven't included it to help us.

It all appeared so suddenly. One minute we were walking through the trees, the next there was an earthquake. And then, then the ground started to tear itself apart. Our pathway was replaced with the firey substance that rose from beneath us. Now, we all stand around on our little islands surrounded by the stuff, not knowing what to do next. The game-makers have managed to split us too. I stand where we were with Mistra, Michael and Bingo –the district 8 tribute who joined us yesterday – while Fox and Aliona are slowly being dragged away from us on their own little earthy boat floating on fire.

"What do we do?" I hear Aliona wail and guess she's crying again. She does that a lot right now. In the two days that have passed since the bloodbath, it's been her main pastime. "Michael? Avery? What do we do?!" I want to tell her it'll be okay. That everything will calm down and the ground will reconnect and we'll all walk off into the sunset, into a feast to fill our empty stomach and then to our homes. But I can't. This is the Hunger Games. Nothing is ever going to be okay again.

"Calm down Ali, nothing will come of you panicking" Michael tells her, his voice steady and supportive. I cant help but be amazed how far he's come in the time I've known him. When we met, he was this normal young kid, his life was set out, a simple life in 3. Now, he's fighting for his survival, and keeping Aliona alive at the same time. And that's without mentioning his injury. He's lived a sheltered life, a life where any injury would receive medical treatment. But he's living through the worst one he's ever had with some make-shift stitches Bingo created. He approached us yesterday as we were leaving our camp, offering his skills from his work in a textile factory as part of an alliance. Michael really needed the treatment and there's something trustworthy about Bingo so we agreed. "We need to stick together. They're doing this to split us up. Fox, can you see a way to get to us?"

"No. Well, maybe. But it's too risky for me to be comfortable with it. I think it might just be worth seeing how it goes. Don't really want to do anything to anger it, well THEM, do we?" I know he's right. I mean nothing life threatening has happened, yet. But that could all change. One false step and who knows what could happen. Lava tidal waves, or raindrops, or just the earth beneath us crumbling away leaving nothing between us and the liquid, nothing between us and death.

"I don't like this" I mumble. But I know we don't have a choice. The three surrounding me look at me, like my compromising over the situation will change it. "Okay, Ali, Fox, stay together! Do not let the other leave your sights." As I shout over, the smoke from the lava billows stronger than before, blocking my view of them.

"Michael! Avery!" I hear Ali shouting again but they're moving even further away.

"Stay with her Fox!" Michael yells, and for the first time I can hear the desperation in his voice. I grab his hand automatically, and feel Mistra do the same to me and we listen as Ali's cries fade.

"We all need to stay as close as possible." She whispers. "They might try to split us up too, we cant allow that. Maybe we should look for land and head down that way? We might be able to meet them on the way down."

"It's the best plan we'll get." I say and we head off along the land that we have left, looking for the area where no ground has been taken by lava.

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After hours of walking that lead nowhere, we decide we have to make camp. None of us want to, but we're all exhausted and continuing will just waste precious energy. We settle in a small clearing, large enough to be comfortable but small enough to go unnoticed and set up a watch. There are still two careers left afterall. Winston from district 2 left the bloodbath uninjured and we can only assume was then joined by Fisher. At least, we know Fisher has to be with someone considering the extent of his injuries after his run in with Fox and Mistra.

Bingo and I decide we'll take the first watch. I'm uncertain about how I feel about him so far, but he's yet to do anything wrong which definitely goes in his favour. We sit in the clearing and watch as the anthem plays and the names and faces of the dead flash across the sky.

"At least they're alive." I whisper, not necessarily to anyone. While a few faces appeared in the sky, none of them were Fox or Ali which can only be good.

"How many dead now?" Bing asks me. I look at his hands to see he's been trying to count them.

"13. Over half gone now. And four of them are my fault. Well, five if you count.." I stop, unable to say the words. If you count Isaac's death. Count the moment where my brother took a spear from me. Yes, that's my fault too.

"That one wasn't your fault. And the others… Well it wasn't YOU. I was there, I saw it. And I didn't see the girl I'm sitting beside now doing that. I saw something else. I saw grief, sadness, desperation. I saw –" I cut him off.

"You saw a monster of the games. That's what I've become."

"No. It wasn't the games. It was a part of you that the games brought out. It was your protective instinct, your love. It was positives manipulated to seem negative to you."

"So, what? You're saying That I'm just a monster?!" I snap, my tone showing I'm not all that calm about the accusation. "You're saying that I am just made to be a monster, that I'm dangerous by nature?!"

"No, that's not what I meant Avery! I just mean that what you did, it was understandable. The games, they manipulated these good things inside of you and made them bad. You just couldn't control your actions. They were beyond you. It was your natural instinct and you acted on it. That's what the games are about."

"I feel like you're patronising me. Are you trying to say I'm mental? That I cant keep a hold of myself? That my 'natural instincts' are more than I can control? Or that I'm letting the games use me? Well yes, I was upset my brother had just been murdered in front of me! And yes, I did want revenge. I wanted to kill the scum who killed him and I did. But I regret it. It was a momentary thing and looking back, it wasn't what I'd like to do. But you shouldn't be complaining because it took out some pretty tough enemies for you. What have you done so far?! Exchanged your stitching abilities for a place in a group. Nice work. Really skilful."

"Hey, there's no need for that!" I see his face reddening and know I've hit a nerve. "I saved your friends life! And yeah, I joined in a group because I knew I'd be safer this way. Is that so bad? Why are you in this group? For your safety. Because we both know it isn't for theres."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I feel the rage boiling up inside me because really, I know what he means and I don't like it.

"It means.." His voice is soft again, making everything he says so much worse. "It means that you're the reason that lava happened, you're the reason Fox and Ali are off somewhere unknown on their own, because you're dangerous. And you're entertaining. The gamemakers think if they can upset you and make you snap again they'll have their winner in you. And it'll be brutal and exciting and talked about for years to come. I mean look at you. You're nothing special strength wise. You're smart and you're strong minded, but you're not a warrior. You're not that threatening is what I mean. And yet, you took out 4 careers in minutes. Those guys and girls, they trained all their lives to be in these games and you came along and knocked them down as quickly as a bomb. You don't know how dangerous you are. But know this. While you're here, none of us are safe."

I watch him, watch the realisation cross his face when he understands that he's said too much. It wont look good for him. He looks cold, heartless. I'm liked and the other sponsors wont like him much when they see. Not to mention the reaction of Mistra and Michael if I were to tell them. But I wont tell them.

"You're right." I tell him as I get to my feet and collect my things. "None of you are safe."

And with that, I leave the clearing. Ignoring the calls from Bingo behind me.

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_**Please please please review!**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13. I think I have a good idea where I'm taking this story now! And I've got ideas for sequels too so I hope people are interested! :)**_

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The fallen leaves and branches crunch under my feet as a head swiftly in the direction we'd been travelling in all day. I wonder if I should be heading the other way but it's too late now. I mean what good is it finding Fox and Ali now when I've decided I have to be alone. Bingo's right, I'm just added danger to them.

Obviously the gamemakers think I'm unstable. Maybe I am. Would I be able to stop myself from losing control? Or would I lose myself again in that uncontrollable darkness that overcame me before? And if I went back to that place, what's to stop me from going after any of them? Just because I didn't before doesn't mean I won't now. Maybe this time it'd be worse. I mean, it can only get worse, can't it?

"Avery! Please stop!" Bingo calls bringing me back to the present and away from my possible future. "We need you! The others, they're too scared of you to come anywhere near us after your show at the bloodbath. We're safe when you're around."

"Yeah, until the gamemakers make me flip again! Then what? I kill you all?!"

"That won't happen!"

"You can't know that!"

"I can. I saw you at the bloodbath. You were hunting the careers. If you were a threat to any of us at any time, you would have killed Mistra as you passed her. But you didn't. She was your friend and you knew that so you ignored her!" Bingo tells me seriously. And his words almost reach me.

"Okay. So maybe that's true. But how do you know that next time… That next time I'll have that control, or that… That I'll even come back at all?"

"Avery." He says reaching for my hands that I let him take. "I know I haven't known you long. But it's been long enough for me to know you're a good person. Really, you are. I saw it the first day of training. You chose your allies then. And they weren't special, they weren't strong, or overly smart but they were good. They were people you didn't want to see die. So you decided that, because you weren't intending on coming out of this – don't pretend you were, we both know you planned on dying for Isaac here – that you'd give them a friend for the rest of their lives. And then you came here, and you were expecting to die and Isaac to live. But straight away, you saw him die instead. That split second messed up your entire game plan. So you lost it, you let all your anger out. You vented your frustration and took out those who had killed him, tried to kill you or other people you cared about. You were REACTING Avery, that doesn't make you a bad person! They weren't exactly begging to be spared were they? They saw you as a good fight. But when one of them did something human, you buckled and came back. When that girl from 4 – Mila? – begged you to kill her, you did. You put her out of her misery. You saw humanity and it brought you back. And when you're with us, you won't go again because humanity will surround you."

He stops speaking, wipes fallen tears from my cheeks and gives me a half-hearted smile. For the first time, I take him in. He's handsome, sure, with black hair and twinkling blue eyes. Sea like I suppose they'd say. But most importantly, his eyes are honest eyes. Full of kindness and they tell me that it's the truth that has fallen from his lips that seem so red against his pale skin.

"Okay?" he whispers.

"Okay."

"So, you'll come back?"

"Yes. Yes, I'll come back."

And so we walk back hand in hand as if he's worried I'll run away again. Like he doesn't want to let me go.

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"Where the hell have you been?!" Mistra screams as we return to the clearing. We're quick to release our hands from the other grasp as if we have something to hide. "We woke up and there was no sign of you! What the hell is going on?! We thought you were dead! More importantly, we thought we were next!"

"We were worried. Are you okay?" Michael asks, much calmer though apparently slightly annoyed too.

"We're fine. Avery just –"

"I heard a noise. We went to investigate." I lie, flashing Bingo a warning look. While we're sorted, I don't want the others thinking I'm worried about my mental state.

"So, you went looking for an intruder with all of your stuff?" Mistra questions and I know she's not buying it.

"We thought, well hoped, that it was Fox and Ali. We took supplies in case they were injured." Bingo comes to my aid, his quick thinking surprising me. Actually it's his ability to lie that's surprising. From everything I've seen before, he's been this honest guy. Now, I suppose I'm seeing another side to him.

"Oh. No sign then?" Michael asks looking glum at the mention of their names.

"No, nothing. Just woodland creatures out. But I mean their names weren't in the sky earlier so that can only be good right, they're still…" I cant bring myself to say "Alive" because considering the alternative is too awful.

"Yeah. Well, we're up now so you two should get some rest after your adventures. We'll take the watch until it's time to move again. Get some rest." Mistra barks, telling us she's still not happy.

"Okay, c'mon Aves." Bingo says pulling at my arm and I flinch at his use of that nickname. Only two people call me that. The two most important people in my life. Isaac and Caleb. It's a sign of the bond between us, the love. Bingo using it scares me. It's too familiar. After all if I'm to survive, Bingo will die. Do I really want to be close to another person in here? Not when I have to lose them. What if it was down to the two of us, if there was that bond and we were forced to fight the other to the death? Neither of us want that surely?!

"Are you okay?" Bingo asks me when we're in the tent and sure we can't be heard. "Why did we lie to them?"

"I'm fine. And I don't want to worry them. I don't want them to feel like they have to watch for me exploding. And we know I'll be fine so there's no need in that, is there?"

"No, there's no need at all." He smiles and grabs my hand again.

"What is this? This handholding and bonding?" I find myself asking and immediately wish I didn't/

"What? I was being supportive! I thought you needed a friend! I won't bother if it annoys you!"

"No, Bingo it's not that. It's just… Do we really want to be inseparable only to have to kill each other later?"

"What if we didn't have to? We could part ways before it comes to that. But now… Now, I miss my home, my family, my life. So having something friendly and familiar helps with surviving right now y'know?"

"Yeah. Yeah I guess I do." I say and I hug into him, settling for the night wrapped up beside him, deciding that there's no point in worrying about how todays actions will affect tomorrow when there's much more pressing matters to come first.

* * *

_**Please please please review or something! I really want to know thoughts on how this is going, and if it's worth continuing!**_


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning I waken with a feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach. It's been a long time since I experienced such a feeling, at least to this extent. The last time I felt it, I was seeing Caleb for the first few times. Learning to lie to my brother. We'd never had secrets before. Before that, it was a feeling I associated with my father. I felt guilty watching him beat Isaac who quite often was merely sticking up for me. But I felt bad, it was horrific, being forced to watch him suffer with no ability to intervene. I was a child. But now, now the feeling's back. And I know somewhere, someone I care for is hurting.

We set off early, when the sky is still bright red from the rising sun, and my instincts inform me that it's not going to be a good day. Red sky in morning is also a shepherd's warning, Bingo tells me.

"how do you know this?" I ask him. "You work in textiles, what do you know about shepherds?!"

"I talked to the 10 tributes in training. They mentioned it" he replies as we walk from our clearing, lagging behind the others a bit after having to pack away the tent supplies.

"I see. One of them died right?"

"Yeah. The girl, Hollie. She was nice. The boy, well I'd rather not bang into him again."

"Why?"

"He was sneaky. Pretended to be less skilful than he is I guess. I mean he seemed decent in training, sure, but not nearly as good as he really is. He didn't score all that great either. Average I guess. But he seemed like a nice person, just a poor boy stuck in the games. A normal 15 year old." Bingo tells me, sighing. "But then, then the bloodbath came and the nice boy act was dropped. No sooner than he'd got a weapon in his hand, he took out Hollie. Didn't even give her a chance to fight. She was unarmed and had her back to him. She'd followed him there, he'd promised to look after her. But he didn't, he killed her there and then in the confusion of all that lightening. I guess he thought nobody would notice. But I noticed. I saw her blood splatter on his skin and his clothes, I saw his evil, stomach turning smile as she fell, I saw how he enjoyed it. And I'm going to get him for it."

"Where did he go. He sounds like someone to avoid."

"Towards the water I think. But I got distracted by, well by you. And then by the time you were calmed he was gone. And then I followed you lot into the trees."

"I'm sorry." I say "I know how it feels to lose someone you care about here."

"She reminded me of this girl from home. Her blonde hair with the ever so slight curls, her tanned skin. Her brown eyes. She reminded me of him, of safety –"

"Of love." I finish for him. "She reminded you that in this world there is good as well as bad. And it's hard to remember that when someone has essentially signed our death sentence for their entertainment."

"Yeah. That's it." He replies and we walk in silence for a while.

"So, that guy from 10. He's a threat?"

"I think so. But it's still pretty hard to tell. The final 8 is when we can really tell that." Bingo stops suddenly and shushes me when I ask what's wrong. "I can't hear them anymore."

And with that, I know something's wrong. So I begin to run, run towards the last place I saw them, to any sign I can find of them. I'm fast and by the time Bingo's realised what I'm doing, I'm too far away to be stopped.

Something's wrong. I'm so concentrated on running to wherever the others are that I don't notice Mistra until I collide with her.

"Avery! Don't go in there!" She sobs trying to grab me. I notice the blood trickling from her forehead and the fear in her eyes.

"Michael?" is all I can manage to say.

"It's too late. Avery, he's gone and there's no way to save him." I push her away and head in the direction she came from anyway. "Avery please!"

The clearing feels different to the rest of the arena. The trees seem greener, healthier, stronger. There are wildflowers in bloom and flower buds on the bushes. It isn't scary or threatening, it's welcoming. I feel safe here, surrounded by death. I feel like if ever there was a place to lie and rest in these games, it's here. And then I experience a happiness so strong that I cannot imagine I'll ever want to leave this place where it occurred.

"Hey you." He whispers, beckoning me over.

"Hi." I breathe walking towards Caleb's outstretched arms.

"I missed you" he smiles walking towards me too.

"I missed you too. What are you doing here? It's not safe for you here!" My happiness is destroyed by panic. "You can't be here!"

"And yet I am, see?" he says taking my hands. "Don't worry Aves, you're safe now. This clearing, this is where it ends. All these games. They're over."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you recognise it? It took me a while too. It's our place back home in 5."

"Is it?"

"Yeah, where we used to go so Isaac wouldn't know. The only place in the world that was ours. Remember?" He runs his hand down my cheek to my chin, pushing it up ever so slightly making me look into his eyes as he leans in to kiss me.

In that moment, I notice the change. His eyes are a different colour. Back home, Caleb's eyes are piercing blue. Here, they are no more than grey. I know that nothing could remove the colour from his eyes, nothing could change something I know to be so personal. And it's not just the colour, they're empty too. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and Caleb's are. These eyes aren't his. And this man isn't my Caleb.

As I push him away and turn to run, I notice the bodies I hadn't seen before. Michael's, and some other poor male tribute's. The blood surrounding them gives me an idea of just how lethal this imposter is.

"Don't you dare turn your back on me!" The voice from behind me says. Except it's not Caleb's. But it's familiar, so very familiar. I feel a hand wrap around my wrist and force me to spin around. And I come face to face with my father.

"Well, isn't this nice?" He smirks. "Little Avery all grown up. I'm so very glad I wont miss this."

"Let me go." I whimper, attempting to sound strong and failing.

"What, let you go off and face some scary danger out there? What kind of father would that make me?! I have to keep you safe don't I dear? Keep my little girl safe. Especially now that Isaac can't. Who's going to save you now? Hm? Who do you have now he's dead?" He whispers threateningly in my ear, his breath lingering with his words as he spins me back around to face the dead bodies. Except they are no longer Michael and the boy's, they are Isaac and my mother's.

"This. This is your doing girl. Your mother, she wanted you, not me. You're the thing that destroyed our family. And then my son, my boy. He died for you!"

"No!" I sob. "Isaac. Mother. No! This is your fault not mine! If you had stayed, if you'd been a father then we wouldn't have had to put our names in the tesserae! You'd have made money to stop that happening, and then we wouldn't have come here! And even if we had been chosen, then maybe it'd be different, he'd be less of a protector because he hadn't raised me himself, like YOU should have!"

"Well aren't we smart Avery? Always were an overachiever, it's a very annoying trait. Even here, you had to go against all the odds didn't you? You had to let your brother die so you could make it past day one. Well, you wont make it out of here kid." He snarls throwing me forward, my face colliding with the ground and making my nose bleed.

I can sense him walking around me and feel the occasional kick in my side or stamp on my hand or back. All the time I wait for that final blow, I welcome it. I welcome the thing that will take away my suffering, that will bring me my mother and Isaac. But it never comes.

Instead I hear a scuffle, then feel hands pulling me up, listen as Bingo shouts my name and watch as his face is replaced with darkness.


End file.
